Still busy and Still tired and Still thankful

I don’t think I have any considerable updates for you but I feel as though I’ve been a bit neglectful so I’ll post something to let you know I’m still suckin air.

We still stay busy as ever around here – which I guess is good because that’s normal, and normal is always good. But I’m still exhausted, even tho the first trimester is supposed to be officially over. I could use about 12 hours of sleep MORE per night, it seems.

I’m so glad I have a good, responsible, loving husband. He is the world to me – especially when I get lazy about showing him how much I care about him. He cooks, he cleans, he entertains and I wub him dearly.

Julia had an ENT appointment today. In May, it will have been one year ago that she got her tubes in her ears. The tubes have been a GOD SEND. If you have a little one with ear infection problems and are on the fence about the big surgery, I will push you over the fence and tell you to go get the tubes tomorrow. She has not had a single problem since the surgery and today, her hearing test had PERFECT results. Thank GOD.

Thursday is my next OB appointment. I’m anxious for it, even though it will just be the usual – wait 20 minutes in the waiting room, go in to pee in a cup, lay down to hear the heartbeat, then go home excited. Hubby seems to be sooooo seasoned at this kind of thing – he still gets excited but not nearly as much as he did with my pregnancy with Julia. I hope he’s just waiting to know the sex before he gets all jazzed up again. I keep trying to talk nursery deco and baby names with him – but he doesn’t budge much. Again, I hope that’s just a temporary slump because, damnit, I’m ready to be all excited again.

I’m so lucky

I’m glad I’m back on the upswing of things.  I had a bout of depression there for a week or two – but I think I’m slowly gaining ground again.  It helps that I’m not vomiting every day anymore.   I have pretty good control over my guts – and when I feel nausious, I can maintain with deep breathing and prayer.  That’s always good.

But, I couldn’t sleep last night. I was thinking about my Auntie who just had major back surgery.  I talked real briefly (5 minutes) with my cousin Kristy – Aunt Julie’s daughter – at 9pm last night and she said she was just now getting home from the hospital. She said the surgery that was supposed to take 3.5 hours took 5 hours – because there was so much scar tissue to scrape out.  Apparently, they also found a tear in the ___ whateveritscalled-somebigwordI’llneverremember.  And that thing is supposed to regulate the fluid that goes through the spinal column to the brain.  Since they repaired the tear, they lost some of that fluid and I guess my sweet Auntie came out of recovery with a WHOPPING bad headache that Kristy and everybody else was worried about.

Ugh – they said it would take some time (maybe a week?) for that fluid to replenish.

But, since I was up all night long thinking about Auntie Julie-O, I was also in a lot of prayer.  And I realized again that I’m so stinking lucky.  I forget sometimes how good life is for me – because it’s ALWAYS good and I get into routines of taking that for granted.

But, as I recover from this slump I was in and start soaring again, I’m vowing to take better care of my marriage, my friendships and myself.  And it feels good to know that.

Updates

Work Blahs

Remember this pathetic post I wrote  a week ago?  Well, all that has officially been taken care of.  All it took was a few frustrating days in a row for me and the guts to say something, and I walked out of work singing the Dora song “I did it! I did it! I did it… YAY!”  (Watch TV much?)

Long story short(er)….  I’ve been doing childcare for about 7 years now (more if you include babysitting jobs) and I consider myself experienced.  After having my own PreK classroom at Primrose, I was a childcare licensing inspector for the State of Colorado.  I know lots of licensing rules and concentrate a little too much on health and safety of the kids. (Yes, its possible to be OVERLY concerned with these issues… kids are kids! We need to let them be kids once in a while… instead of constantly reminding them that they didn’t wash their hands for long enough or need to push in their chairs.)

Anyway, since my current employer was still convinced that I was up for the awesome job offer that begins in the Fall, she had me out doing “observations.”  Observations are required in Kansas for all childcare workers to start out – I never had to do them because I started out in childcare in Colorado.  But, according to Kansas, I’m only director certified for up to 12 kids, and my boss wanted to have 15 enrolled in the classroom this Fall.  So, Kansas said I needed to complete 5 classroom observations to increase my capacity.

There’s nothing more annoying than having to sit in on other teachers teaching preschool kids in quiet observations.  I’d much rather play and sing songs and be a teacher-type than sit quickly as if I’m the new kid fresh outta high school.

At any rate (guess it wasn’t long story SHORT, now was it?) … it’s been a throughly annoying week for me, and I marched into work today, took my boss lady into her office closed the door and said with my words: “I am officially turning down your offer and will not be teaching in the Fall.”   WHOA was I relieved.  And, she wasn’t surprised.  She said that she wasn’t running around with blinders on – that she knew childcare costs would be outrageous for me to stay there, but she wanted ME to come to HER officially to give her the word.   It makes sense… she didn’t want to give MY job away without my turning it down first.  My boss is so freiking cool.

When I told her about my plans to open preschool out of my house after the peanut is born, she said “That sounds logical and sound.  You’d do great and I know you’d keep parents happy and kids happier.”   Once again, my boss is so freiking cool.

So, She’s still sending me on my fifth observation – which is tomorrow -  just to make it official.  I will be licensed for up to 24.  That will be a nice piece of paper to show prospective customers in October when I’m ready to open my home.

Pregnancy Blahs

I’m still pregnant, which is amazing and exciting and praise-to-God-worthy!  I’m feeling the little squirt move around, which is awesome and amazing and something I missed feeling immediately after Julia was born.  I’m still excited about being pregnant and having another kiddo running around this house.

But I’m tired and crabby and fat-feeling and hungry and thirsty and tired.

I’m so tired of being tired.  I’m so sleepy ALL THE TIME.  I remember, when I was preggo with Julia, I slept all day everyday (I worked from home… for the government, LOL) and it was nice and much needed.  I was a night owl – taking care of household and work related responsibilities at night.  I slept whenver I wanted (just about) and enjoyed every single second of it.

But, now I have a toddler.  And I’m pregnant again.  And I’m so tired.  And I can’t sleep.  I’m busy.  I have two jobs. And a husband and a dog and a kid.  And all I want is to crawl into bed with my pillow and my duckie and fall asleep and never wake up until dinnertime.

There. That feels better having said it.  Now, don’t go leaving me a comment saying that the 2nd trimester will be better and that I’ll back to my normal self in now time, yadda yadda.  And whatever you do, do NOT leave me a comment along the lines of “you think it’s bad now… wait till the kid gets here.”  I will seriously kick your ass.   Instead, leave me a comment telling me that you feel my pain and you’re sending me a clone of myself so that one of me can enjoy life with my daughter and my husband while the other one of me takes care of the peeing and sleeping and eating part until the second is born.

Once again, thanks for listening.

YouYou Results

Thank you so much for playing!  I hope you’ve made some new blogfriends through the process.  You all are so funny – I absolutely love reading your guesses.  But, guess no longer – the answers are now posted!

I had fun with it.  Now, it’s probably your turn to do a youyou post!

My YouYou

I totally stole this right off the shelf from the blog of the Palm Tree Princess.  I don’t think I’ll be arrested and go to jail because (a) I give her full credit for my insanity and (b) She stole it from someone else.

But, I fell in love with the idea, and I had to copy it.  So, click “More” to read the rest of the post and then leave me a comment to guess who I’m talking about. (Be paranoid, it’s all about you!)   Haha – maybe in a day or two (if there’s interest?) I’ll post an answer key.  There are only 10 items, one for each person on my blogroll.

Have fun.
Thanks LC for the steal!

How do I put my ticker at the top?

Embarrassed by overindulgence

In our weekly bible study, the topic of keeping life simple comes up often.  I always say that I’d love to sell all my belongings, save a few shirts and two pairs of jeans, and live simply.  One bowl, one spoon, one fork, one cup, one plate, one toothbrush, my daughter, my hubby, my family and my bible are all that I really NEED.  I dream about our house being clutter free and my free-time choices consisting only of reading or playing a simple board or word game with family.

I’d say that we didn’t have much as I was growing up.  It’s easy for me to say that now, considering all the junk we do have.  But, all my things were hand-me-downs… even the clothes.  I enjoyed getting hand-me-down clothes from my older female cousins. They were in their teens when I was 7-12 and I would get “Mag Bags” every month or so. (Big trash bags filled with great clothes). I remember a summer, though, when it seemed like I got at least one new thing per day.  Either a cheap toy from the dollar store, a new shirt from Target or WalMart or some kind of fun cassette tape with cheesy preteen music on it.  I loved waking up every day that summer because I would wake up trying to remember what it was that I got new the day before.

When I went off to college and became poor and had a steady diet of ramen and macaroni, I realized that I was never “spoiled.”  Even that fun summer when I’d get something new everyday was tainted with memories of my mom trying to buy herself out of her guilt.

But, I wouldn’t rather have had it any other way.  I truely appreciated the smallest things – like Easter Eggs filled with jelly beans or a really great handed down purse that I could use to play pretend.

And now that I’m all growed up and faced with the dilemma of living a life of “trying to keep up with the Jones’” while raising my daughter with appreciation and gratitude for life’s smallest gifts.  I’m all growed up and I got me a job and a hubby with a job and life isn’t bad at all.  We probably have more toys and gizmos and fun things in our house than the average person on our block (well, okay probably not on our block, but definitely more than any neighbors I ever had as I was growing up)…  and I wonder if I’m spoiled now, if I’m spoiling my daughter now, or if my husband and I are just enjoying the liberties of adulthood while still living financially responsibly.

This post has turned into something completely different than what I thought it was going to be.  But thats the way I write … I don’t have the patience (or, is it the time?) to sit down and actually think before I type.  So many of you have elegant and perfect posts on your blogs… but mine is just filled with ranting crap!

At any rate, we do have more than enough now.  Our free-time choices are limitless.  We have a basketball court in the backyard.  A new sandbox.  A nice swingset with a built-in fort.  We have bicycles, wagons, strollers.  We have board games galore (but they’re dusty.)  And we have four computers, four TV’s, a treadmill, a weight bench.  We have two cars, parks nearby.  We have friends with kids and friends without kids.  We have a basement to finish and work to be done.  Good work, too – like, work for GOD and stuff.  But, I can’t wait for the wii to show up on our doorstep. There, I said it.  I want to live simpler.  I want to brag about how little we have.  I want to practically become Amish.   But, damnit, I can’t wait for our newest too-expensive stupid TOY to show up so I can waste some time enjoying it while Julia watches yet another Dora dvd in our bedroom.  It should get here today or tomorrow and I’m totally looking forward to it.

HAH! There… I said it!  How embarrassing.
Guess I’m not going to win mother-of-the-year or wife of the year or employee of the year, now am I?

Work Blahs

I work in a preschool.  It’s okay… I chose this profession right outta college. There wasn’t much else I could do with my four year degree in English.  I love kids – always have.  Four and Five year olds are my specialty, but I have a really hard time staying away from happy babies as well.   The preschool job went from 40 hours per week to 30 hours per week when I got hired on at church as the Children’s Minister.  I’d have loved to quit the daycare all together, but it pays some bills.  The church only pays me part-time.

Anyway, church work is getting busier and a bit harder as we progress.  The church is growing and the children’s ministry will stop growing if we don’t begin to focus on it more. So, I’ve definitely declared the church as my top priority over the daycare work.  Thing is, like I said, the daycare pays some bills.

When I got pregnant (thus, constantly exhausted as well), I decided to bring my hours down to 25.  I gave up my own classroom to be a “floater” – someone who bounces around the building offering potty breaks and errand running.  This way, I won’t have to do lesson planning or discipline (much) and all that other jazz.

Giving up my classroom was a hard decision.  Graduation is just around the corner, and my 8 students are going off to Kindergarten in the fall.  But, my mommy skills were lacking and my church work was suffering… so I really saw it as no other choice.

Well, I was stoked to learn that my new schedule would be 10am to 3pm.  What a deal… sleep in and then come home before regular business hours end.   I counted down the days to my new schedule.  My  new schedule started on Monday and I haven’t worked a single 10-3 shift yet.

My boss assures me that after next week, it will be strictly 10-3pm… but that this week is funky due to some other staffing issues.  Do I believe her?  Half.  I want to believe her really badly … but experience has shown that if I don’t stay on top of her case about it all the time, I’ll be taken advantage of and considered “Flexible” in scheduling.  Don’t worry – I’m all over it. She understands with all certainty that I will NOT be in to work before 10am starting Monday.   I am very demanding, and she has learned that about me. Thing is, she’s a pretty cool boss, and has given in to my every demand thus far.

Here’s the tricky part … I accepted a position from her back in January that was a pretty nice deal.  I would start my new position in August, when school starts – and I’d be teaching from 8 to 3 as a salaried teacher. I’d have all teacher holidays off and I’d still get benefits.  I couldn’t pass this up.  Anybody else would jump on the deal, too.

But then, I got knocked up.  And I told her …without telling her… that the deal’s off.  When baby #2 comes around, I wanna stay home (that’s the agreement that hubs and I made a long time ago)…   I even mentioned to my boss the cost of childcare, and that having two in care while I work for my (generous, but not generous enough) little salary would hardly pay the bills, and she laughed it off.

I thought I was understood.  I thought it was clear as day that I would not be working there for free – as my whole paycheck would go to childcare for my two kids.  Apparently, she didn’t understand.  Even today, she’s still going around introducing me as the new classroom teacher starting this fall.  She’s crazy.

I love her to pieces. But, I love my church more and my family moreest.  So – there’s the drama at work that I’m working to sort out one comment at a time each day.