Archive for January, 2007

Blog needs a makeover

January 24, 2007

I would SO update more if my blog was cute and friendly like so many of yours are.  I have news and stories and pictures to share … I’m just so bored with my blog.

There was a day (a wee long time ago) when I knew how to spruce the blogs up.  But, when I switched to wordpress, all that went down the drain and I know nothing of it anymore.  I’m bummed about that.
Most of me wants to start over … AGAIN … this time going to some cute blog from blogger (or another easy dummy-friendly host).  But, I’d hate to do that to you, seeings how I just moved over here to pocket change a few months ago.

Blah!

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3 posts in one day?

January 15, 2007

Yeah – football playoffs. *YAWN* boooring.

And anyway, I got tagged with a meme 🙂 Horray!

Garnie said I have to do this:

You do this:

1) Find the nearest book
2) Open to page 123
3) Type lines 6-8 of said book
4) Tag three others

“Beauty exalts, but beauty also lulls.  Early associations endear but they also confuse.  Through that beautiful solemnity the transporting or horrifying realities of which the Book tells may come to us blunted and siarmed and we may only sigh with tranquil veneration when we ought to be burning with shame, or struck dumb with terror, or carried out of ourselves by ravishing hopes and adorations.”

Okay, so I was never very good at following directions.  But, I had to finish the sentence, I didn’t wanna leave you guys hanging 😉 Or, maybe it was the English Major in me that didn’t want to end without a period.  At any rate, this quote is from the section titled “Modern Translations of the Bible” from The Joyful Christian by C.S. Lewis.

Please help me

January 15, 2007

Two years ago, I started the program “Couch to 5K” from the Cool Running website.     I didn’t quite make it – because I worked out once a month or so (with mini-workouts in between that would only consist of easy walking)  instead of 3 times a week, and by the time I got to week 7, I was too pregnant to stay motivated.  Today, I decided to jump back onto the treadmill … my main motivation is for my family.  I want to stay healthy and strong for hubby and daughter … and I want to be very healthy for baby number 2 (if baby 2 ever comes along.. hee hee).

Today, I did workout 1 for week 1 and it was fairly easy for me.  I tend to get over-excited and want to run more, thus burning out quicker.  But, when I finished the workout, I was so pumped and feeling motivated again!  I can do this … but only with the help of my hubby and my friends.

So, no more LOST on t.v. and no more blogging – on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays until I’ve got my easy 20 minute workout out of the way.    I only want to reach my goal of running 5K without dying… is that asking too much? 😉  Will you help me stay accountable?

PS hubby made some AWESOME peanut butter brownies on Saturday. MMMMMMMM  Oh, and we also got our girl scout cookies delivered on Saturday.  OH and hubby’s mom made me an applesauce cake for my birthday on Saturday.  OH and did I mention that sweets will NOT stay in our house for more than a week because I need to have them GONE otherwise they’ll combust or something, destroying the earth.  I’m saving the world here, people. I just don’t want you to blow up. I care about you.

Brrr

January 15, 2007

kansas_city.gif

I stole that right off the Kansas City Star online.  It’s freezing out there!  I was excited to have a change in the weather.. I needed something different.  But, this? This is wacky!  It was icy all day yesterday and Friday and now it’s snowing on top of that.  Okay, CO – I know y’all are buried in snow … but that heavy fluffy snow can be fun if you bundle up the right way.  This crap is just Bitter Cold!  There’s a small layer of snow on top of the ice.  If I let my dog out to pee right now – I bet she couldn’t come back in until it gets above freezing next week!

HaPpY BiRtHdAy

January 11, 2007

Wanna hear somethings stupid?

1) I played hooky yesterday and took the day off even though I was feeling okay.  I justify it by the fact that Julia could still be contageous and I had to stay home with her.  But, it made me feel incredibly guilty and I then insisted that I go to work today regardless of how crummy my morning feels (i always wake up crummy in the mornings because of sinus drainage…)   It’s kinda stupid to stay home FOR YOUR KIDDO and then feel guilty about it. Wtf?

2) Work called me at 1pm yesterday to say “hey – hope you’re feeling better just wanted to let you know that we have tomorrow covered for ya – you don’t have to come in since you’re not feeling well.”  Suddenly, I sounded like I was dying and in such pain from my little cold as I said “uuugg, okaaayyy  are you shooore? thanxx yeah i’ll stay homb”  All the while, I felt awful (not because I’m sick, but because I have good work ethics and morals)  and sooo UNchristian.

3) So, what did I do today? (On my BIRTHDAY?) Yeah, I woke up, took a shower, got ready then called work “hey just wanted to let ya know I got some real good sleep last night and can come in if you need me!” I was hoping with all hope that they’d be all ‘ahh, no its ok we totally have it covered, we weren’t countin on you at all’  …instead, “really? Great! We really need you.. 4 others have called in today… Thats awesome, see ya soon!”

Ugh – who calls in to work… to work?? and on their birthday???

me, evidently.

On top of all that – I hadn’t been there all week so the kids were WILD and out of routine.

On top of THAT, even, QRS accredidation came to observe for threeeee hourrrs.

I’m glad to be  home. I get to have a happy birthday now!  I’m so glad I won’t work 10 hour days anymore.  Now c’mon – it IS de-lurking week.  Come out, de-lurk, and leave me a Happy Birthday comment!

Sex talk with mom

January 10, 2007

If you know me at all, you know that I struggle with the (non)relationship I have with my mother.   We talk on the phone maybe 2 or 3 times a year, we IM each-other online maybe once a month … and that’s being generous.  I’m constantly initiating contact (though I give her props… she did call me last time – with no dramatic agenda in mind!).  We’ve seen each-other once since we moved away from her over a year ago.  It’s not just me, either – she’s quit going to all family functions. Christmas, she says, is annoying and loud.  Sad as it is … I’ve intentionally missed Christmas for the last two years myself – but my reason is because it’s quiet and depressing, not noisy and loud.  Well, it’s potato or potahtoe.. whatever.

When we do “talk” (more like TYPE) to each-other, it’s superficial and awkward.  I long for my mommy – the one that raised me up, the one that became my best friend, that helped me through relationships (hindsight – maybe not so much of a help, but she tried!) … she’s the one that I would go to when I had any little issue on my mind.  If I had a bad day, I’d call my mommy.  So – now that she’s somebody SO completely different – I can’t talk to her anymore. I feel like I don’t know her at all.

Today we had a short 5 minute IM session.  “How are you all?” “Fine, and you?” “Fine..”  Then she says the expected – that she’s contemplating some big life-changing decision (this time, it’s getting married and quitting her job..  like that’s something new).  So I share with her that we are hoping for another kiddo – but that it’s been a year since we started trying so the outlook is not quite as promising.  And she starts telling me to just relax, it’ll happen if it’s supposed to and … this is what really got me… she says “Maybe God decided that he can’t compete with what he already gave yous”

Holy shit – did my mom just say this?  My immediate reaction SHOULD HAVE BEEN “Yes! That’s probably very true! We are indeed very lucky! That’s a great point! You’re right!” – and then naturally lead into conversation about God and all that..

Instead, my gut reaction was something like, “Who do you think your kidding? You’re just saying what I want to hear!  Don’t try and preach gospel to me! Who do you think you are?”

So yes, I’ve stooped to her level of suspicion, bitterness and inward insecurity.  We continued the conversation by me saying “yeah” and “uh huh”  “yep” … and that was that.  I hate that I can’t seem to let my mommy go.  I need her so bad, but at the same time I don’t want her anymore. She isn’t the mommy that I know.

while_we_were_sinners1.jpg

As I was trying to devise a way to change the subject, she went on to say that I just need to “relax and quit trying so hard.”  That’s not unusual advice for someone that is TTC now is it?  When I said – yep – she came back with “Like with Juila.. you wanted her SOO bad and she came when you relaxed about it.”  Umm… mom – Julia came 6 weeks after we started trying.  It’s not the advice that is getting on my nerves. It’s the lack of understanding. She used to be my number 1 fan. Now, she doesn’t understand me a lick. And it kills me inside.

Note to self: no more sex talk with mom – not even a simple “yep, we’re tryin’ again!”

Well, on a lighter note (I can’t just leave it at that!!)  Julia and I are playing hooky again today.  I believe that she has some kinda chest/head cold thing – and it was a great excuse for both of us to stay home and recoup.  She is getting better… she actually slept through the night! (Despite the early rising this morning, I am glad that we all got to sleep.)  She has real sticky, thick, black diarrhea – no, you didn’t ask nor did you need to know that – but I have to share my yucky sorrows with SOMEBODY! (It’s gross. And it’s in PANTIES – the kind you have to swish around in the potty to clean them out before rinsing them twice and then washing them with a load of laundry… eeew… again, Sorry!)

I’m a little sickly myself.. just a head cold or something, thus indulging in lots of chocolate and green tea.  I plan to clean the house and then spend the afternoon baking an apple pie (mmm) and painting or making playdoh with Julia.  It’s a glorious day off!

Second Verse,

January 9, 2007

Same as the first

Whoa, wait – no, this one turns out differently.  I turned this into quite the long story.  Kinda  blabberish I suppose…

(more…)

Finally Friday

January 6, 2007

Helloooo Friday!  Hasn’t this week been WAY TOO LONG!?!

No holidays, no shopping to do, no meals to make, no reason to clean the house (until Monday), no plans for the weekend… just a sweet, glorious weekend.  whoohoo!

Gushing with pride

January 2, 2007

Go here.